Picture this. You’re young and engaged in the elden days. Your boo thang is hot, rich, and mysterious to boot. Only problem? It’s the days of yore, you’re supposed to be a virgin, and you’ve been indulging in the delights of the flesh.
Cut to the wedding night, and boo thang finds out you’ve been a naughty little minx—and the bish MARCHES. YOUR. A**. BACK. HOME to your parents’ house!
Your macho brothers can’t handle the shame of this indignity and decide to avenge your long-lost v-card. The knuckleheads grab knives, and en route, tell A-NY-ONE and E-VUH-RY-ONE they come across that they’re gonna kill the dude who deflowered you. And… NO. ONE. DOES. A. DAMN. THING. ABOUT. IT—not even the PRIEST!
Hoowww? How is it that SO MANY people knew about a premeditated murder and… do. absolutely. nothing???!! That’s what this whole story’s about.
VERDICT:
👍🏽One thumb up for masterful story-telling & quirky af characters who all do whatever the f*** they please.
👎🏽 Thumb down because, as is his m.o., Gabriel García Márquez does not give a sh** about consent. In fact, García Márquez thinks men are so much smarter than women that in one scene, a brothel patron dresses up the sex workers as each other and somehow CONFUSES THEM INTO FORGETTING THEIR IDENTITIES. Gabriel, no.
By Samara Gation
Culture This & That 
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